FullerData.com - Shoot yourself in the foot

Some of my favourite shoot-yourself-in-the-foot with various Programming Languages. Originally from a usenet post with some more modern additions and kept around just because.

Assembler - You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot.
Ada - The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarette.
Algol - You shoot yourself in the foot with a musket. The musket is aesthetically ascinating and the wound baffles the adolescent medic in the emergency room.
C - You shoot yourself in the foot and then no one else can figure out what you did.
C++ - You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying "That's me, over there."
C# - You shoot yourself in the foot, but first have to switch to unsafe mode.
COBOL - USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
FORTRAN - You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling facility.
Pascal - The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
Java - You shoot yourself with any kind of gun anywhere you want. Unfortunately, it shoots real slowly and misses sometimes, especially when shooting at windows.
Modula-2 - After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
Lisp - You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds.
BASIC - You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is water logged.
Visual BASIC - You draw yourself being shot in the foot with a water pistol.
Javascript - You've perfected a robust, rich user experience for shooting yourself in the foot. You then find that bullets are disabled on your gun.
Forth - Foot yourself in the shoot.
APL - You shoot yourself in the foot; then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.
Ruby - Load the gun with anything you like and shoot yourself in the foot. Everything's a bullet, you see.
Python -You insert the bullet into the gun but because there were actually TAB characters in the barrel instead of spaces, the gun jams with an IndentError.
Prolog - You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't allow it to explain.
Eiffel - You create a GUN object, two FOOT objects and a BULLET object. The GUN passes both the FOOT objects a reference to the BULLET. The FOOT objects increment their hole counts and forget about the BULLET. A little demon then drives a garbage truck over your feet and grabs the bullet (both of it) on the way.
Smalltalk - You spend so much time playing with the graphics and windowing system that your boss shoots you in the foot, takes away your workstation and makes you develop in COBOL on a character terminal.
Postscript - foot bullets 6 locate loadgun aim gun shoot showpage
PERL - You stab yourself in the foot repeatedly with an incredibly large and very heavy Swiss Army knife.
BCPL - You shoot yourself somewhere in the leg -- you can't get any finer resolution than that.
HTML - You shoot yourself in the foot, only to find out that no matter how gory the result looks, your foot keeps working. Your foot finally stops working when you stub your toe kicking the box the gun came in.
XML - You can't actually shoot yourself in the foot; all you can do is describe the gun in painful detail.
Logo - You tell a turtle to draw a picture of a foot and a gun, then shoot the turtle.
Occam - You try to shoot both of your feet with several guns at once, but deadlock.
PHP - If you're lucky and the HTTP connection doesn't time out, you shoot yourself in the foot.
Z - You write out all the specifications of your foot, the bullet, the gun, and the relevant laws of physics, but all you can do is prove that you can shoot yourself in the foot.